More Than A Mother
It seems fitting as I wind up the editing process on the book and the year draws to a close to talk a little bit about how much life had changed for me in the past year. I know, I know, life changes every year and it’s part of the process of ageing but 2013 has been affirming and life altering for me.
Since I was made redundant over 4 years ago and I became a
stuck stay at home mother (SAHM to some) I felt that my life was defined by my children and situation. It consumed me. I found it difficult to separate myself from being a mother, it became very hard to see myself as anything other than a mother. I obsessed over nurturing and nourishing the children and that is where the blog was born.
As I wasn’t working in paid employment my life lost focus. The lack of money in the house meant that socialising and date nights became things of the past. Ultimately it was harder to escape the harsh reality that being a SAHM is, particularly when you’re on a budget. Blogging is my outlet, I write with my heart on a sleeve and share our journey, sometimes through food, sometimes not.
Losing my job meant that my life went from an incredible high to an incredible low. I beat myself up over not having a job as it brought so much hardship to our family, when it probably isn’t all due to me losing my job, it’s tied up in the flipping recession but there you go. I beat myself up over a lot of things. Like the fact that I never finished my degree. I have plenty of qualifications but no degree. Which in today’s society can be a bit of an obstacle to doing many things.
The older boy was due to start junior school in 2013 and I took a long hard look at my life and wondered how much I could change without having the funds to do so. I want and desire so much for the children in the future. I began to realise that the change that I want for the children begins with me.
With encouragement from friends and family I submitted a proposal to Mercier Press in the Spring and within just a few days they got back to say they wanted to work with me. I wrote, cooked, photographed, edited, wrote some more, cooked a ridiculous amount and photographed again over the Summer.
In September when I enrolled the older boy in his school, I was handed an enrollment form. The form asked for my occupation (if any). Without thinking, I filled it out with the following:
Everyday is a blank page. I’m responsible for how it’s filled.
In the coming Spring I’ll hold my first book in my hand. This year, 2013, I learned how to be more than a mother. I realise that to other people of course I am other things but to myself I learned how to be more.
Don’t forget to dream folks, as they do come true.