Dear Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley Cyrus,

You look really uncomfortable. At 20 years of age it’s possible that you may not have been as educated in some of the ways of the world that most families would take for granted.

I wonder would you consider a couple of options that might stop that dreadful itch you obviously have?

If you’re short of cash (I’m sure you’re not) just in case you are, a bath in bread soda twice a day will help that burning itching feeling. No more washing your nether regions with scented products either.

Likewise applying some organic natural yoghurt will help cool yourself down. You look very hot down there. Maybe those pvc shorts are not the best choice given your obvious physical distress.

Fellow wise Irish blogger The Nest suggests:

Well, she could wash with a dilute cider vinegar wash: a quarter cup to a cup of water. But also drinking one tablespoon in a pint of water will keep her on the straight and narrow. Eating two teaspoons of coconut oil a day should help too!

If the problem persists an anti-thrush cream with a low level of steroids should get things under control. Your medical practitioner can best advise just in case it’s a little more than simple thrush.

Remember, rubbing and itching will just make it worse.

It is very embarrassing to be stuck in the workplace when you’d rather be sat over a bucket of ice I do understand. I hope that these simple tips will help you in the future, just in case you are ever caught in short shorts again.


A couple of bottles of water before you go on stage will stop you panting like a dog. Do they not serve water at the VMA’s?


A Concerned Irish Mammy

12 thoughts on “Dear Miley Cyrus”

      1. Ha ha, maybe that’s just what she needs. A Real Mammy and Cotton Knickers (none of this PVC rubbish)

  1. It was some fecking outfit.
    She did look in pain, god love her. Id like to think if I carried on like this wearing that, someone would point it out to me

  2. Oh Caitriona, you’ll have to tweet this to her. I know it’s wrong that I’m laughing but she really needs your help!

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