It’s Not A Dream

I originally wrote this blogpost at the end of 2013 and it’s worth revisiting now as tomorrow I officially launch my first cookbook, “Wholesome”.

Since I was made redundant 5 years ago and I became a stuck stay at home mother (SAHM to some) I felt that my life was defined by my children and situation. It consumed me. I found it difficult to separate myself from being a mother, it became very hard to see myself as anything other than a mother. I obsessed over nurturing and nourishing the children and that is where the blog was born.

As I wasn’t working in paid employment my life lost focus. The lack of money in the house meant that socialising and date nights became things of the past. Ultimately it was harder to escape the harsh reality that being a SAHM is, particularly when you’re on a budget.  Blogging is my outlet, I write with my heart on a sleeve and share our journey, sometimes through food, sometimes not.

Losing my job meant that my life went from an incredible high to an incredible low. I beat myself up over not having a job as it brought so much hardship to our family, when it probably isn’t all due to me losing my job, it’s tied up in the flipping recession but there you go. I beat myself up over a lot of things. Like the fact that I never finished my degree. I have plenty of qualifications but no degree. Which in today’s society can be a bit of an obstacle to doing many things.

The older boy was due to start junior school in 2013 and I took a long hard look at my life and wondered how much I could change without having the funds to do so. I want and desire so much for the children in the future.  I began to realise that the change that I want for the children begins with me.

With encouragement from friends and family I submitted a proposal to Mercier Press in the Spring and within just a few days they got back to say they wanted to work with me. I wrote, cooked, photographed, edited, wrote some more, cooked a ridiculous amount and photographed again over the Summer.

In September when I enrolled the older boy in his school, I was handed an enrollment form. The form asked for my occupation (if any). Without thinking, I filled it out with the following:

Writer

Everyday is a blank page. I’m responsible for how it’s filled.

In 2013, I learned how to be more than a mother. I realise that to other people of course I am other things but to myself I learned how to be more.

Last Friday was Publication Day and while it might sound very exciting, it was actually pretty normal and quiet for me. I did get a delivery of a box from the warehouse thanks to a friend grabbing them for me on his way home from work (thanks Andy). Since then I keep on looking at the box every now and again and it’s like a mental pinch for the system. I need to remind myself that I’m not dreaming, that the book is real, finally, and it’s actually happening.

Tomorrow evening I officially launch the book and it’s a chance to say thank you to my friends and family. I’m really looking forward to it. The past couple of days have passed in a blur, I’ve been busy and it has been brilliant.

I have to say thank you to all my amazing readers and supporters. I simply couldn’t have done it without you. There have been times when I’ve really struggled with the budget and the task of writing a book but the messages of hope that I’ve received have lifted my heart.

Don’t forget to dream folks, as they do come true.