FB Account Was Hijacked
This morning I had to deal with something that we had not come across before. So with her permission I’m sharing what happened when the 13yo’s FB account was hijacked.
The teenager’s Facebook account was accessed late last night and a status update was posted. She didn’t do it. She was tucked up in bed and any device that she could have used to post was downstairs. The update was something that was designed to upset her and tagged another family member, who was entirely innocent.
As soon as I got up this morning I became aware of what had happened because my account is set up to get an alert on every status update/photograph/item that she posts or shares. I knew straight away that she hadn’t done it. The 13 year old was still in bed and I wanted to try and get to the bottom of it. I woke her and got her to confirm her password. I do have a record of it but I wanted her to know that I was accessing her Facebook account. It was a trust issue.
I logged in as her and first of all ended any active sessions on any devices other than the computer I was using. This prevented anybody from logging in as her from that point forward. I then reset her password. Next I requested a full data archive of her account from Facebook. It’s easy to do and the archive includes log on details, IP addresses used and the devices used to access her Facebook account. This would be key in me tracing the person who accessed her account.
Facebook emailed her a link once the archive was ready to download. It took barely 10 minutes to compile. I’m guessing that if she was a more frequent user it would take longer. You are entitled to request this information at any stage, it is after all your information.
By selecting the security information that I wanted to review, I could see that the person in question had logged into her account for approximately 6 minutes last night. They posted 1 status update and altered no other information.
I could see their ISP (Internet Service Provider), their IP (Internet Protocol) Address, the device they used to access the internet and the browser they used, including the software version.
So, what could I do with all this information?
I guess it depends on the context.
The device, the internet service provider, along with a quick chat with the 13 year old revealed that one of her “friends” with the exact same device had acquired her password by accident a number of weeks ago. This made it highly likely that it was her “friend” who had gone onto her Facebook account and posted the status update. There is a common term that is used to describe this type of behaviour. I’m not going to repeat it here. I’m putting the term “friend” in inverted commas because I don’t believe that this is the way that friends behave towards one another. The status update was designed to upset her.
At this point I decided not to take my enquiries any further and the 13 year old will discuss what happened with the individual directly. She is, needless to say, very upset. She feels like her privacy has been violated, her friendship abused and is very let down by a person she trusted. Particularly when she specifically told her friend that she trusted them not to share her password or use it.
If the person accessing her account had done more then we would have reported their account to Facebook directly. They have a way of dealing with this kind of abuse. We also would have contacted the ISP with the information I downloaded from the archive to inform them that a customer was using their service to abuse/bully another.
You know what though? Most of what my husband and I have had to do today has been parenting, not using some of my know-how and a process of deduction to find out who did it.
We have a very upset 13 year old in the house now. The important thing today has been to support her, acknowledge her upset (I’d be fuming if it happened to me), listen to her rant (13 year olds do this alot), and gently guide her to make the right decisions for herself.
I asked her whether she wanted to add to what I’ve written and this is what she has to say:
It’s not funny, it hurts alot. It kind of feels like you’ve been betrayed.
Sometimes you don’t notice you’re being bullied, and that it happens alot and sometimes you’re afraid of telling your parents because it’s your friends and it’s very confusing. You shouldn’t be afraid to talk to your parents about what is happening online or offline.
I’m sure you’ll join me by sending her a big virtual hug.
I’ve a damp patch on my shoulder but I’d rather have that than her not talking to us about how she feels.
Caitriona Redmond
I'm an Irish mother to 2 boys, born & bred in Dublin, Ireland. I like to cook simple & fresh food for the family, with the family on a budget.
30 Comments
Karen Smith
Well done for dealing with a delicate situation in a great way. Sounds like you have great relationship with your daughter X
Wholesome Ireland
She’s my hubby’s daughter K and she is wonderful. xxx
The Clothesline.ie
The poor pet. Well done on how you dealt with this so quickly
Wholesome Ireland
Thanks xxx
Lisa | Mama.ie
Sounds like you took the right approach. Horrible situation though but unfortunately probably not the last time she’ll be faced with something like this as she makes her way through her teenage years. At least she knows not that she can come to you for help.
Wholesome Ireland
Well that’s it. She has been great. Asked me to blog this so that she would be able to show people that it’s not funny and very upsetting.
Eugenie Wilson-Bower
You really dealt with the whole situation in a perfect manner. Well done, and hope your 13 yr old is able to express to her “friend” how disappointed she is. Sounds like she has a great role model in you.
Wholesome Ireland
Thank you Eugenie. She’s my husband’s daughter (although I would be proud to call her mine too) I’m sure she will in her own time. In fact I’m confident her “friend” will know exactly how much hurt and damage she has caused. Trust is so important.
Anna Boch
Saving this in my long term memory – sounds like you handled it really well. My little girl is starting school this month, so it’s all ahead of us!
Wholesome Ireland
Oh it is. T minus 3 weeks here too. Me Nerves!
Girl with the skew earring
Thanks so much to your Daughter for allowing us other parents inside her world, and to you Catriona for sharing how to deal with these kinds of things.
I am sure that she now knows to change her password if she accidentally lets her password slip.
Wholesome Ireland
Of course she does. 😉 xxx Thank you
CatherineAnn Minnock
I found this a really interesting read and I have every sympathy for your stepdaughter. I’ve been through bullying myself and I have to say that, while no form is any more/less serious than another, at least you were fortunate in one sense that you had evidence of what had happened. It can be really hard for teenagers to explain to adults what is happening and how bullying is affecting them, but in this case you saw for yourself. I think this article will have a great impact on the bullies themselves: it will let them know that their actions will be taken seriously and have consequences. I really admire the way you handled the situation, she’s so lucky to have you looking out for her!
Wholesome Ireland
“No form is any more/less serious than another.” Thank you CatherineAnn for articulating it far better than I could. There is a general acceptance of this behaviour out there among many teens and adults. It’s not acceptable and she feels very betrayed.
kat
Gosh the poor thing. It’s one thing to have it happen behind your back or in school when you know who the culprit is or can at least find out but the internet has made it all so secretive. Fair play for being able to keep track of your child’s internet activity I do think they need to have access to these social outlets but they do need to be actively monitored. Even as a fairly internet savvy woman I’m not sure I would have known to take the steps you did. Your stepdaughter can only learn from this and hopefully her ‘friend’ will too.
Wholesome Ireland
I hope so thanks Kat.
Grainne
Having a 13 year old daughter myself I understand your daughter’s response completely. Nothing more heartbreaking than a “friend” behaving like this. It shatters a lot of illusions. I like the action you took.
Wholesome Ireland
Thanks Grainne. There are somedays I wish teens came with a handbook & others I think ignorance is bliss! I’m sure you get what I mean.
kathryn
Give her a big hug from me. Horrible when someone you trust betrays you whatever age you are but things like this hurt even worse at her age. She’s a great kid and I know she’ll deal with it well, as you have done
Wholesome Ireland
Thank you K. I will of course. xxx
Lisa
I watched a movie on Netlix two nights ago called cyberbullying. You should watch it if you have time its gritty educational movie where a family member and best friend use a girls social media account she gets bullied and very harsh but moving…
Wholesome Ireland
Great idea thanks for the heads up Lisa!
Lisa
You can actually watch the movie on youtube for free.
Wholesome Ireland
Thanks Lisa I’ll look it up.
Gabrielle
I’m glad you were able to sort it out. Not a nice situation for your girl. May I ask how “Next I requested a full data archive of her account from Facebook.” you achieved this? I can never find these things when I need them so good to know just in case.
Caitriona Redmond
Hi Gabrielle, you’ll need to do this through your account settings on FB.
Gabrielle
Thanks for the reply but I’ve searched and looked and can’t find that option anywhere in the ‘settings’.
Caitriona Redmond
See here: https://www.facebook.com/help/131112897028467
Gabrielle
Typical! As soon as I posted that I found it I think. 🙂
Caitriona Redmond
Great!