Keeping Calm Is Over Rated

Keeping calm is over rated.  I assure you.

As a parent, I spend most of my day keeping calm.

The baby wakes at 5am, I keep calm. I find toothpaste squirted into the overflow of the sink, I keep calm. I walk 4km in the sun only for it to rain on the return and I discover I’ve no raincover for the buggy, I keep calm. I take the baby down from the table for the 17th time before 10am and, yep you’ve guessed it, I keep calm.

All of this keeping calm builds up inside. Particularly when you’re at home with 2 small kids, limited contact with the outside world apart from said long walk everyday to the school and the occasional terse phone call while the 18 month old climbs all over me and tries to hang up the phone and the 4 year old finds it the perfect time to discuss his body parts. Yes those parts.

When it gets to 5 O’Clock and the kids are getting to that ratty stage of the day, I consider putting the clocks in the house forward and convincing them that bedtime is just around the corner.  I wish I drank something stronger than tea, just to take the edge off.  Just to make being at home with 2 mad yokes slightly more fuzzy than pointy-edged reality.

After my eleventy-seventh cup of strong tea I’m wondering if it was such a good idea to feed my tea addiction as I’m not sure I can leave the pair of them for longer than 20 seconds without some calamity happening. It all builds up. I don’t mean the need for a loo break without a running commentary either.

Bedtime comes. Bliss. It’s quiet-ish.

The “keeping calm” that has been resting somewhere between my heartburn and itchy nose is bubbling, ready to spill over.

So I step into the store cupboard (a fancy name for the press under the stairs) and let fly a couple of choice swear words.  Which may, or may not include the word “arse” amongst others.  The best swear words comprise only 4 letters in my experience.

Keeping calm is over rated. Swearing is far more satisfying.

PS – He’s not really a baby anymore, he’s nearly 18 months but he’ll always be MY baby. 😉

10 thoughts on “Keeping Calm Is Over Rated

  1. U are writing my day T, tantrums ahoy. Currently treating myself to a glass FULL of Baileys smug in the fact that today i was not the only one.

  2. Ah but you forgot about ‘Bollox’. A great swear word in my opinion. I also find punching a pillow good therapy, tried a wall once but wouldn’t recommend it.

    1. I do enjoy rolling those syllables & the x at the end. However I still think the best swear words have 4 letters. I don’t discrimate though. I do give as many as possible an airing so none get lonely stuck in my head!

  3. Great HONEST post Caitriona. I tend to do an “ARRRGHHHHH” every now and then and definitely count down to bedtime. We get through it though:)

  4. My grandmother used to say “They gave Edmund Hillery a medal for climbing Everest – where’s my medal for rearing children?” – so nothing changes down the generations. I’ve been that tea drinker, have had to microwave it once too often to reheat it, yuck!

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